Job Stress and Hope for the Future

I’ve been under a lot of stress recently.  It’s mostly the usual stuff, bills, jobs, not eating right or sleeping enough.  However, my job has been increasing my stress level a lot recently.

I work in a call center.  For the most part I have a pretty easy job and it’s a fairly relaxed environment.  Back in March I changed positions, I went from a role dealing with general public customers to a role dealing with agents who sell the product.  I was getting extremely burnt out on dealing with the customers.  It was a lot of factors that lead me to look for new opportunities and openings, and I jumped at the chance to switch departments.

I was pretty happy with the change for a while, until I got asked if I wanted to take customer calls part time as part of a new cross training program.  I really wanted to say no, but I have a work ethic that got drilled into me early.  Also, in this current climate it’s helpful to be the guy who has multiple talents so they are less likely to downsize you.  Full disclosure, I had agreed to be a part of this cross training program back before I had actually switched departments.  I was burned out and wanted something new.

That’s where I am now.  Taking calls that I want to take part of the day, and then halfway through my day switching and taking calls that I was trying to get away from.  It’s pushing my already high stress levels through the roof.  I’m now at the point where I will do almost anything to not go to work.  Everyday going into work just seems to be difficult.  I try to take my mind off of work as often as I can, between calls I read twitter, facebook or read a book.  I can actually feel my emotions swing downwards when the phone beeps.

This is not a healthy way to live.

I really want to get out of this role I’m in, but I kind of feel trapped.  While I was one of the guinea pigs for the new program, they are now pushing everyone to go through it.  My former teammates on the customer side are learning about agents, and my new teammates get to learn about dealing with the customers.

For quite a while I’ve had this feeling when I go to work, that I don’t belong there.  I’m used to not feeling like I belong.  I’ve lived most of my life as an awkward outsider looking in.  I’ve started looking for new jobs, but most of the “normal jobs” in the area are just different variations on what I’m doing now.

That brings us to the point of all this.  This is one part a way for me to vent off some of my frustration and negativity that doesn’t burden my poor wife with more of my emotional baggage.  At the same time I’m hoping that by putting my thoughts, feelings and wants down and sending them out, it will solidify the message and spark a response from the universe.

I’m not a religious or highly spiritual person, but I do believe that what you put out will come back to you.

What do I want?

I want a job more in line with my interests.  I love geeky things, so getting paid to talk, write and discuss movies, comics, games and the latest geek news would be perfect.  But that’s not all I enjoy.

I don’t want to be rich.  What I do want is the freedom from living paycheck to paycheck.  Enough money to pay my bills and have some left over.

That’s what I want.

Now, I’m not expecting the perfect job to just land in my lap.  I am taking steps to help make this happen.  I’m taking my writing more seriously.  I’m trying to get posts up on a regular schedule over at http://www.FanboysTalking.com and I have a novel that I am going to finish.

That’s where I am now.  Just getting all of this out has made me feel better already.  It’s a start.