So far, I’m not doing so well on completing that goal.
My biggest problem comes from lack of motivation. As someone once said, you need to treat it like it’s the most important thing in the world. I’m not doing that. I’m easily distracted by games, TV, real life. I come home from work tired, hungry and all I want to do is sit down and veg in front of the TV for a little while and then before I know it’s time to go to bed. It’s not the best attitude to have when you are trying to be creative.
I’m not even talking about actually making this a full time paying gig, I’m talking about just sitting down and actually doing something. Finishing something… hell, starting something. Taking it beyond just a few notes scribbled onto a page.
I find myself easily frustrated too. When I get an idea, I try to jot it down in notes so that I can at least find it again. There is always an idea popping up at times when I can’t write it down. So I try to keep a notebook on me at all times. However when it comes to actually taking that idea and forming and shaping it is when I get frustrated. I want it to be perfect the first time.
I understand the concept of drafts and refinement. How things slowly take shape over weeks, months or even years. But my brain doesn’t seem to grasp that concept. It wants it to be perfect right the first time through with only minimal editing. So when I can’t get an idea to work in a few minutes, I get frustrated. Frustration leads to me putting the pen down and walking away. It’s not a healthy or inspiring way to look at things.
Where does that leave me now? I’ve been kicking my own butt for months now, but that doesn’t get rid of the exhaustion, busy schedules or distractions. Like anything else, if it’s truly important to me I make the time. I guess that means the first step is making the time. I’ve made time to write this up, so I guess that’s something.
I need to make a schedule. I need to focus. I need to get to work.