Fanboys Talking, Avengers, and A Catharsis

Been a while since I last updated here, and I thought it was time for an update and some catharsis.

First things first, Jenn and I have started a podcast/blog page so I’ll be posting all my more geeky thoughts on movies, music, TV shows, comics, etc. on that site, and I’ve decided to make this blog a bit more personal.  I’ll still be posting fun stuff, but it’s things that will be a bit more personal and bit more about me.

As of this posting, we have 1 podcast episode recorded.  We gathered with some friends and talked Avengers and more.  It’s fun and we have more fun things planned.

So, yes, we saw Avengers, and it was awesome.  Not sure what else I can say that others haven’t already said.  It’s the movie that as soon as you leave the theater, you want to jump back in line and go see it again.

Work continues to be a bit of a headache.  The team is getting to the point where we, the temps, are no longer required.  Which unfortunately means our hours have been cut down recently.  We have been looking at some half days, which is good because it’s less time spent sitting in my chair at work pretending to work.  However, that is money I’m no longer earning.  I don’t have to say how much that sucks.

That has been putting me into a pretty foul mood at times.  However, I can’t be mad at work.  I can’t be mad at my boss.  I can’t be mad at anyone… except myself.  It’s not my work’s fault that I’m in the position I am.  It’s not my bosses fault.  It’s no one’s fault, but mine.

I’ve been in this position for over 3 years, and for at least 2 years of that time there has been talk about the future of our position.  Whether it be outsourcing, automation or whatnot, I have known for a very long time that this position is not permanent.  So, for 3 years I have been sitting at my desk happily continuing on, completely aware of the fact that this road has an end… and doing nothing about it.  I’ve been waiting for someone from up on high to come down and give me the magic key that would lead me into the next stage of my career.

I could possibly blame people for this and that, I could blame the temp agency for not giving me guidance.  But that would be bullshit and me just trying to come up with reasons to justify my lazy attitude.

In talking with my brother about my work situation, he pointed out that I had gotten complacent and I wasn’t out there looking for something new.  I had accepted a temp job as a permanent.  This was absolutely true.  It’s a problem I have whenever I get to some place safe and secure (especially job wise) I get complacent and accepting.  I stop looking for something else.  I wait until the job turns to shit before I start looking for something else.  That is the reason why I am where I am, because I got lazy and spent 3 years in a temp job, not looking for a permanent position.  I stopped trying to make my own way in the world, I put my future in the hands of others.

That is the reason why I can’t be angry at anyone but myself.  I knew my situation.  I had a pretty good idea of what the future held for my position.  I did nothing about it.

So, in the last few weeks I have finally started kicking myself in the butt to basically start taking control of my future.  This is where Fanboys Talking comes in.  No matter what happens with the site and podcast, this is me trying something new.  I am taking control, for good or for bad, this is my attempt at being a creator instead of just being a consumer.

On the job front, I have applied to just about every position in my building that posts that I am even remotely close to being qualified for.  On Friday some new positions were posted, my applications went in, and I had a phone interview later that day.  I’m feeling good about it too.  It may not be a dream job, but it’s something, it’s me taking control and not relying on others to deem me worthy.

This is me saying I am worthy and I am going to make my way.