Exorcizing the Negativity

Since November 2017, we have been trying to sell our old house. At that time we bought a new house and made a deal that we thought was going to make a quick and easy sale of our old house. Fast forward to today and we still own both properties and we are struggling to complete a sale. Needless to say, this has been stressful for us.

Long story short, there have been countless delays of various reasons. Yesterday was supposed to be our closing date, for reasons that I’m still not completely clear on, it didn’t happen. This lead to an anger-fueled emotional breakdown that I have not had for quite some time. Both of us were at our lowest and darkest places.

But, we did survive the night and now we need a fresh new outlook. What we have been doing before hasn’t worked. I’m typing this up in hopes of purging out that negativity that has been trapped inside and refocusing on what I want. I’m putting it out into the universe that I’m ready for something new. I’m open and I’m receptive for what I need to do.

I need to focus on my priorities. First and foremost, I need this house to be sold. Secondly, I need enough money to pay off our credit card debt. Lastly, any extra funds will be used to pay back my Mom who has been beyond generous in her help to get to this point.

I don’t want to blame others anymore. I just want to move forward. I want to be rid of this house and start going down this new path that has been placed in front of us. I want to be free of the pain and negativity of the last few days. In writing this I am exorcizing it all out of me, I don’t need this anger anymore. I accept what has come before and I am ready for the change.

Batman and Stan-Culture

Yesterday, I quote tweeted someone talking about how much they loved the visuals of Batman V Superman. I tagged on to it that yes the movie has great visuals but I just wished the script had been better. Ever since then my mentions on twitter have included DC-Snyder Stans circle jerking each other about how stupid and uncultured I am for not understanding the brilliance that is Batman V Superman.

I’ve debated on how to respond to them or if I even should respond to them. So far, I’ve decided it’s best to not directly engage and just let them tire themselves out and move on.

But that does bring one part of fandom that I simply do not understand, stans. Stans are those people who do searches online for people talking about a certain thing and then constantly insert themselves into the conversation. What does it matter what I, some random unimportant guy on the internet, thinks of your favorite franchise? It’s nearly impossible to mention the name Snyder on twitter without getting at least one person coming back at you about the “misunderstood genius” of the DC universe.

Maybe this is just me being an old person now and not understanding the kids these days. I mean I’m typing this up on a blog page instead of making a twitter thread about it. I’m old, let me shake my cane at them from my free wordpress blog page.

It’s something I’ve tried saying to people for years. Art is subjective. Yes, Batman V Superman is a work of art. Some people are going to love it, some people aren’t. That is simply just life. For some, BvS is the best comic book/superhero movie ever made and that’s a perfectly valid opinion to have. For others, BvS just did not work for them. I could list off the problems I had with the movie, but at this point who really cares? Well, I guess someone out there cares about my opinion, but that’s not what I’m writing about here.

This is part of the reason why I don’t like people putting so much faith into sites like Rotten Tomatoes. People put so much emphasis on the score there and I think most people don’t fully understand what that score really means. If a movie has a 30% score, that doesn’t mean all the critics gave it a 30% rating, it means that out of all the critics 30% gave it a positive review. That 30 % could have LOVED the movie, among that 30 % someone could have had their life altered by the magnificence of the film. It’s not a direct indicator of quality, it’s an indicator of how many people gave it a positive or negative score.

There is no one piece of art that responds to everyone. I’m sure someone went to the Louvre in Paris, saw the Mona Lisa and said “meh, it’s not that great.” That’s just life, anyone who creates anything will have people who hate it and people who love it. You cannot please all of the people all of the time. That brings me back to why some random person on the internet cares what I thought of a movie. If you loved the movie, that’s great, I’m happy for you. I’m happy that you got enjoyment out of it. Like what you like, enjoy the movie and ignore the haters.

Changing Up The Routine

We all have our daily routines. We get up at a certain time, eat a particular breakfast, watch a particular show, etc. How often do we take a step back and look at that daily routine? How many of our daily activities do we do out of habit and how many do we do because they give us something in return? I’ve started to ask myself this question recently. I’m not sure anymore of what gives me joy and what is just another thing I do to check off my list.

I’m stuck in a rut and the worst part about it is that I know I’m stuck in a rut. I can see the problem, but I can’t seem to find the solution. Even when you can recognize that you are stuck in a rut it can still be difficult to pull yourself out of it. I’m hoping that by making some changes I can find a new to pull myself out.

I’m going to try something new in the coming weeks. I want to try and focus on all the things that I do regularly. Really look at them and try to figure out if it’s something I actually enjoy doing or if it’s something I’m just doing to check off the list. If I skip a piece of the routine, try a different breakfast, skip that podcast, don’t watch that TV show. Will I miss it or will I not even notice it was gone? The hope is that if I can remove some of the distractions and filler from my daily life I can open up holes for new things, new experiences, and focus on what is more important.

I know what I want to do and my hope is that if I change things up I can return my focus to what I really want.

#ThoughtsAndPrayers For All Those Still Negatively Affected by The Last Jedi

As I type this, it’s nearly the end of April, approximately 5 months since the release of Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi and I can’t go a day without hearing somebody whine and complain about how it’s the worst movie ever or some other such nonsense. I love Star Wars and I’m heavily biased for it, I’ll admit it. Anyone who knows me already knows this. I loved the film, in fact right now it may be my favorite of the saga. But ask people on the internet and you’ll hear all the standards about how it’s the worst thing ever, just today I saw a return of the old classic about ruining childhoods. This is so stupid.

If you seriously think that this is the worst film you have ever seen, then I have some advice for you. Since you are reading this online, open up a new browser window, go to your streaming video site of choice (Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, etc) and start watching more movies because clearly, you haven’t seen very many. Expose yourself to more and you might find something that you like.

I’m a huge fan of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. It’s one of my favorites and I’ve read the books several times. Last year they finally made a movie adaptation. I was excited to see it, I even tried to justify the negative things I started hearing about it. I wasn’t going to let someone else ruin this for me. The movie came out and it’s pretty bad. Not the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but by no stretch could I call it a good movie. Know what I did? Wrote my review of it, laughed about how I have a great wife even when I drag her to shitty movies and then moved on with my life. I didn’t troll the filmmakers or try to bring down the Rotten Tomatoes score (it did that just fine by itself). I enjoyed what parts of the film I could and then moved on.

There is so much content out now I can’t imagine spending 6 months continuing to focus on one bad movie that you saw. Didn’t like it? That stinks, well at least you still have the original films you can go back and watch over and over again. Or maybe try out something new, maybe Star Wars just isn’t your thing anymore. Have you watched the Expanse? It’s a great sci-fi show. Hit Netflix and see what’s on there.  Maybe, just maybe you could try and create your own thing. Think you could write a better script? Well then go do it! Regardless there is a ton of stuff out there for you, don’t spend your time making twitter accounts like Jar Jar Abrams and Ruin Johnson because that just makes you seem like a sad loser.

Art is subjective and it’s impossible to make anything of substance that pleases everyone. And that’s okay. No one is forcing you to watch or buy anything. Didn’t like The Last Jedi? Oh well, maybe Solo will be more to your liking. Maybe in a few months you can rent it from Redbox and revisit it, it’s possible with time and distance away you might find something to enjoy. Either way, move on with your life, find something else that gives you joy and relish in that. Just because you didn’t like a movie doesn’t give you free reign to be an asshole. It’s just a movie. It’s not real.

The Last Jedi spoilery thoughts and ramblings

The Last Jedi is here, after weeks of build-up and anticipation I finally saw the latest Star Wars film over the weekend. Wow, it is a lot to take in.

Because I’m a geek, I tend to over analyze things and Star Wars is no different. I don’t know if I would call this a review, but I have thoughts in my head and I can’t post them on social media like I normally would because of spoilers. So, I’m venting my ramblings here.

First, this movie was nothing that I expected. It’s a divisive movie and I can understand some people not liking it.

Luke Skywalker is so much different than we expected. He is an old man who has crawled to this corner of the galaxy to basically hide from his failures and die. He’s closed his connection with the Force and refuses to rejoin the world or acknowledge Rey. However, I don’t think he’s wrong in wanting the Jedi to end. It seems Yoda agrees with him as well. They both seem to understand that the Jedi Order was flawed. This matches the theme of the movie that you need to let go of your past, kill it if you must. Luke kills the Jedi knowing that the Force has something different in mind now.

I’ve seen some people complain about the Canto Bight sequence in the film, but it’s a great view of how the other half lives. Most of the film is focused on the Resistance heroes, but here we see that while they are struggling to fight against a return of tyranny, these people are willing to ignore all that because war helps their bottom line. It’s a very relevant message in 2017. Much like in the prequels we went from Tatooine to Coruscant, it’s a similar juxtaposition here. This scene also gives us some valuable insight into the characters of Rose and Finn as well as a look behind the curtain of the First Order.

What really struck me is how many risks and chances this story took. Kylo Ren is a conflicted villain and we never quite know where his allegiances like. We think the story will follow similar beats to Empire but it doesn’t. Instead, it twists what we thought about where we were headed. After this movie, everything I thought I knew about what Episode 9 would entail was wrong. JJ Abrams and his team have their work cut out for them.

Goal Setting

A few years ago I set myself a goal to actually finish the writing that I start and to some extent I’ve been doing so.  I’m still very far from where I want to be but I feel I’m moving in the right direction.

I think it’s time to set a new goal.  Previously, it was finishing what I started.  Now I want to get to the point where I feel something is good enough to publicly share.  Maybe, it will be a self publish if I feel it’s really special, most likely it’ll be a blog post or something similar.  Something where I can openly post it and share for all the world to see.

I had initially thought about putting it off and calling it a New Year’s Resolution. But we all know those Resolutions are bullshit. If you stick with it until Martin Luther King Jr day you are doing better than most.  So, this isn’t any kind of resolution, it’s a goal. No preset time frame or anything, just a destination.

That’s my plan and I’m putting this out here so I have a modicum of accountability.  It’s here, written in electrons and pixels, digital stone. No going back now, no matter how chicken shit I get.  I need to do this.  I want to do this.  Writing has always given me joy and I think if I really work at it, focus on it and treat it seriously I can produce something others would like too.  I want to give back to the world.  I want to be a creator and not just a consumer.

Hold me to it Internet, because talk is cheap.